I’m hating life right now. I hate leaving to go to work. I hate that my job isn’t as fulfilling as it used to be. I hate that I put so much energy and effort into work that I come home too tired to appreciate my family. Noah has a speech delay (more on that later), and I hate feeling like that’s my fault, or that I could have done something about that if I had more time/energy. I hate that we have to take vacation days to get a day off together. But most of all, I hate not having a plan. Change is required.
This is where you all come in, because I can’t decide the best course of action. I’ve kind of narrowed it down to three options.
- Quit. Soon. Like, November-ish.
Leaving my job would be the quick fix. It would keep me home, relax me, and be fantastic change. But it would also mean a drastic change in our financial situation, and we’d definitely be living in the red for a while. In short, it’s the ultimate goal, but it’s probably not smart to jump in so quickly. - Quit, eventually. Like, next year-ish.
What would be most prudent would be to stick it out at work until we’re ready for baby #2, take advantage of the fantastic maternity leave benefits, and then… not return to work. That gives us time to ease into a new financial lifestyle, and really makes the most sense. But it requires another year (at least) of work crappiness until we get there… and at that point I will have missed most of Noah’s toddler years at home. Is that really worth it? I can’t decide. - Stick it out, for the long haul.
However much I complain, I DO love my job. I love the history, I love the heritage, I love the people, I even like the work. Things are just really out of whack right now, and there’s no opportunity for advancement in the immediate advancement due to the economy. It’s a huge de-motivator for me, but if I knew I was in it long-term, I could stick it out and be happy. Plus, big things are coming, and I’d love to be there for the new openings. I like the idea of having a career. But it means giving up on staying home—and that would be a tough one.
Like I said before, I want it all. Help!
3 comments:
I answered where my heart is. We decided I would stay home after Caleb was born, and have not regretted it. Yes, we live basically at the poverty level, our debt is more than I even want to think about, and we do nothing frivolous because we don't have the money. However, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I feel absolutely ill-equipped to advise you on such a life-altering decision, so I will not vote. Sorry. But I will pray for God's guidance (which He is already setting in place for you, and you'll know the right thing to do when the time is right).
I agree with Kiti about praying for God's guidance for you. This is a big decision. I know that poverty is not a fun option but there isn't a better "career" in the world than motherhood. And you can't imagine how much it is possible to live without when there is no other choice. Being home means you can save on meals, clothes, work shoes, gas, child care, wear and tear on your car, etc. It could be a much smaller drop in your income level than you think.
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